Friday, 2 July 2010

Where did I go?

Lately I've been feeling like I'm loosing my identity. People who know me, and my friends might say that they have not noticed any changes, but that is probably because even if I share my feelings with others it's not always what I really feel. What I really feel is nothing. I do not feel happy nor sad, not exited nor nervous, not busy nor bored. nothing. I do not enjoy any of the things I used to love. The sunsets, the long walks, writing, singing, poetry, reading, music. nothing. I used to think alot, I used to dream. Sometimes it was bad thoughts and bad dreams, but at least it was something. Now I only stare out in nowhere, unable to focus on anything. It is like being dead and alive at the same time. It is strange not feeling. Though sometimes I get vaige feelings of sadness and depression, and sometimes I smile. But now it is more out of habit than a true feeling. I do not know what to do anymore, and it is probably silly sharing it on my blog, but it is the only way I can try to make sense out of this, because it really does not make sense. I want my old passions back. I want to want again. I want myself back.

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