People who know me might wonder why I have written things on facebook etc that have indicated that I am having a hard time. I did have a hard time. I still am having a hard time. Ever since August I've been trying to get to England next year, and until Tuesday I thought I was going. Tuesday I was contacted by EF who said that I wasn't getting on the program after all because of some medical stuff from my past. It was really hard hearing that from them. My whole world fell apart. I didn't know what to do. I cried myself to sleep, feeling completely hopeless. I have been wanting this ever since 5. grade, and I wasn't going to give up that easily.

So now I have been in touch with two other organisations that think they might be able to provide me with a spot. I even had an interview with one of them today. I think it went great. At least that was what she said. She said they would be in touch with me again tomorrow. Everything is good so far. The only thing that worries me is who I should turn down. She said I should not let the other organization down before tomorrow, and I am afraid of letting them down because I'm not 100% sure that the first organization really will take me in. But that's just details. I will work my ass of until I get in somewhere. I'm not giving up without a fight.
I was raised to fight for what I wanted. I have never been the person to get things just handed to me. I have always had to be patient, work hard and be disappointed. The only thing I can do is wait, pray and work.

"when life gives you lemon.. squeeze them in the face of your enemies"
That's my motto. You see that world?  You haven't won yet!
And thanks to all you guys who care about me! Love you! You mean the world to me!