And she said, tonight the sun will sink into the sea and reveal another day, and tomorrow I'll love you more. Every look, glimpse or glance brings me closer to you. She breathed out and stood to look him directly in the face before putting his hand on her closed eyes and she whispered, and if you should never see tomorrow then know that i'd be blind. For your the light reflected through my eyes, without you there is none. She lifted his hands from her eyes and put one finger on her mouth. Softly she whispered, and if you should ever leave, heaven forbid you will. I should never speak again for there would be nothing speaking of. People might preach as they do but I would not utter a word. My lips sealed be, my words unspoken. She lifted his arms off her body and stood to examine him. He stood motionless with hands hanging down until he smirked and replied, don't fear my love for there would never be such a day. If we die we die together, if we love we love each other and so our life goes on. The sun may set the sun might rise but the moon shines just the same. So my love's inspired by the moon. The shimmer and the dark stays faithful, impossible to shake. Sometimes you might only see half my love but you shall always know that behind those dark, thick clouds the rest will always be. And forty years from now you'll wake up in my arms, remembering this very moment and you'll know that every promise I will keep and my love shall never grow weak. So he took her hands and bent so their foreheads rested upon each other. He closed his eyes and the world outside disappeared. Only she existed now. And it remained like that for the rest of their lives.

broken curse

For so long I was lost in a nightmare

lived each day in loneliness and despair

forever darkness was all I could see

but then this light came to surround me

protect me with your unbreakable wing

i'm fragile but i'll let you in 

broken glass from the pas is repaired 

the curse is broken - i no longer feel scared

pure white dove

pretty white dove so high soaring

you're flying high though your wings are tearing

your exhausted body can take no more

somehow you forgot what you're still here for

you rest your feet in an olive tree

silently you pray for the world to let you be

for your life you thank while raising your head to the sky

all those years, those decades you've been flying high 

forever you've been pleasing with your carefree songs

but now you're ready to carry on to the place where the past belongs

This poem is dedicated to my lovely grandma who's now in a caring home.
She is now very ill and wishes to pas on. I love you so much grandma. 

You have been such an inspiration to me for all these years. 

I wish that I could be there for you in these tough times. 

You're always in my thoughts. 

waiting for your return

tracing your picture with my crooked finger

there's nothing left but somehow you linger

you disclosed my heart and possessed my soul

this possession i know creates a growing hole

they say you'll learn to forget with time

how can I move on when you're still not mine? 

A photograph - a memory is all that remains

a rush of blood running through my veins

You don't even want to know me no more 

So I ask myself - what am I still waiting for?

I love you though you wish I did not

You rip my heart out but can't make it's beat stop

My mind executed and your words the sharpest knifes

Both of us fighting as if for our lives

All the blood I've given was given of free will

Had no idea it was a weapon you would use to kill

As I am aching and you're winning the war

I will cherish all the pain and never regret that it went that far

rain

rain wash away my trouble and sin

i was vulnerable when I let him in 

no words remains to make him mine

he shut me out and drew a line 

hopelessness driving me insane

crying and begging all in vain 

rain wash away my sin and trouble

pour me a drink and make it a double 

your name tattooed on the inside of my skin 

cannot shut you out when you're already in

I realize that you're a drug, you're poison 

but still you are the one my heart has chosen

There's still a burning light inside of me

that clings to the hope of what we could be

a hope that you would open your eyes

look beyond your created delusions and lies

you would see me in clarity with a newborn mind

and accept the compassion and love that was mine

my love, do it quick before north becomes south

my dear, do make haste before the candle burnes out

You distance yourself from my heart and my soul

this cold shoulder now we were getting so close

who would have thought you could make me feel whole

but all of my fears you reveal and disclose

I'm lost in the darkness where you asked me to wait

Fumbling around without light I fall to the ground

Guess I should have known it was not worth to keep faith

Need to grasp reality because you will not be around

The beauty of silence

In the moments when there are no words to find

When one is left with silence filling the air

Nothing but butterflies invades your mind

It is such a beautiful thing without compare

The beauty of silence is too little cherished 

Feeling numb from no more than nothingness 

One only wants it back when it has perished

When one gets it back it has turned into loneliness

let emptiness possess your soul

let it fill you to the core

I know I never shall feel whole

don't know what I'm here for

black curtains drawn across our mind

Don't peak or the sun will burn your skin

seems we're always running blind

love don't always let you win

alone

how can I die when I was never alive
how can I miss something that never was mine
a hole is all there is left in the girl I used to be
you tore my heart from my chest, there's nothing left
you cast me off, still I cannot make myself forget
Cannot make myself move on. I shall not.
I shall cling to the memory that possesses my very soul.
I told you that I was afraid that you were only a dream
Foolish boy, you did not listen. Now I'm awake - alone

A shooting star you may be but my eyes won't open - can't bare to see.

Just like the autumn you came with the wind. I let down my defenses and invited you in. 

How was I to know that it would be impossible to let you go.
I need you to stay. Though don't know if you feel the same way.
It does not matter to me. Feels like I've been waiting for eternity.
Waiting for you. The dream to come through.
Here you are. Glowing like a shooting star.
I feel strong. But not for long. Because I know. I have to let you go.
How can I? My heart asks why.
Why won't faith leave me happy for a while? Am I prohibited to love your smile.
Love you. Too.
It seems to be faith's only rule. To make me a fragile-feeling fool.
You'll slip away between my trembling fingers. But the dream I dream of you lingers.

Forever. But you shall be mine - never.

secrets of a nutter

I loved thee though you had never spoken a word. Such love I'm told is mistaken and completely absurd.
I adored thee though I did not know your conduct. I could not help myself, had not had such love instruct
I watched you though I was taught it is rude. My eyes would not flicker though it sat a nervous mood.
I longed to speak and be noticed by you. You, more brilliant than any creature, any man I ever knew.
But so the year ended and your presence was no more. I shall never forget the moment I saw you walk out that door.
And so it came to be that my secret longings where through. But do not despair my love, I will not rest until I find you.

The Time Lord

As I drown in my own depravity, know that I shall remember you, Sir. Of that you may be certain. And as I sink deeper and deeper, only to be additional to the great darkness that awaits deep down in the shadows of the ocean, it will be as if time stood still. As if time did not exist. All the fish would forget how to swim and the streams of the ocean would forget how to move, because time was their teacher. Their purpose was given to them through time. As was mine. But you, sir. You came along. You dishonestly took away my purpose and so it is that without a purpose I shall not be fit to seize my existence. I shall perish. As shall we all who lose our purpose, our ways, our hearts. You blindfolded me and caused me to lose all of them. So as time is still, I'm not moving where I lay under the surface of the water. But you, Sir, have always been time's superior and so it does not apply to you. Why, I would say you had time to drag me out, save me and provide me with a new purpose of living - guarding your heart. Forever and forever again

great sun

Oh great sun. I'm afraid you're mocking me. For I cannot climb the heights of the trees. Nor can I reach the bottom of the river. Yet you faithfully shine. My face gets caught in your dazzling light. How can I ever prove myself worthy of thy kindness towards my groping figure. ah, you remain forgiving. Your wealth is to be shared and cherished by humble men and servants. Though my love will not acknowledge me and the better man spits at my sorrow. Great sun you might mock me. But let me rest in thy sunlight.

Beauty

Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. 

Your shape just happens to fit the size of my heart. 

Standing in the darkness. Staring at my face. With hollow eyes and crocked fingers. It's not a pretty sight. Head bent down to ground. Moaning as it goes. I try to close my eyes, but it's piercing face will not be gone. In the corner there's a mirror. the figure waves it's hand. I cross the floor so carefully. silently I stare. There I stand in disbelief as I watch my own reflection. The figure stretches out and holds my hand, and now we're only one. I'm standing in the darkness. Staring at my face. With hollow eyes and crocked fingers. A ghost of who I am.

Cruel fate

The bridge is broken. There is no other way over to the other side. Hopeless as we are, we stand by the riverside watching. Watching as the water takes is course. We watch as our dreams pass on by. Glancing over to the other side where happiness possesses the souls of the living. Never shall we join their eternal dance. Never shall we feel the glorious feeling of satisfaction. Forever we shall parish, bit by bit. But not fully, not completely. We shall linger. Forever our cent will possess the air. Cause a shiver down the spine of all who passes. Death is present. He greets us with benevolence. As we stand by the riverside, soaked in our decay, the devil drags us closer, and we're invisible now.

wind in frenzy

Life is only a whisper. A flood of words. streaming air against my ear.

Sometimes it's a warm breeze followed by pretty words. 

 Sometimes it's a storm. Abusive insults spoken in frenzy.